Boog just came home and handed me my Mother’s Day gift. In tears. As he is apt to do, he got a little rambunctious on the walk home, tripped, and my traditional Mother’s Day flower pot broke into pieces. He was devastated.
I gave him a big hug and told him that I loved it and he did such a beautiful job on the painting. We’re going to fix it and find a new flower to plant in it.
Things that break due to an epic fuckup are still worthy of love. Don’t forget that.
In the last post where I blathered on about my food and exercise, I think I kind of made it seem like the skies opened and everything is calm, cool and happy and I am just going about my life. Truth be told, things aren’t as hunky dory as they seem.
I was on a walk at lunch the other day when I came across a stray cat lying on the side of the sidewalk. She didn’t look too hot. Her fur was wet and nasty, her mouth was horrible, and she should not get up. But she did give me the friendliest meow when I bent down to greet her.
I knew she was in a bad situation, and at that point I had no abilities or resources to take her anywhere, so I called the APL. I left a message, and what seemed like a zillion eternities later, got a call back. They were on their way to check her out. I gave them the specifics, hung up, and just prayed, trying really hard to not think of the impending storms. Or the fact that she couldn’t move. Or sick. Or that the particular area she was in wasn’t the best. I didn’t hear anything else from the APL, so I just convinced myself that they got to her and took care of her so that the ‘what if’s would not take my head.
I got calls from two different people from the APL the next morning. They were able to get kitty, but she was deteriorating from FIV and sadly had to be put down. But they agreed that she was a really, really sweet kitty.
I am glad they were able to get to her. I am glad that she didn’t spend much more of her life suffering the way that she was. I am so, so glad that the APL is full of loving people who cared and understood enough to reach back out to me to let me know what happened. It might not be on this earth, but kitty is safe now, and for that I am glad, too. I sent them a donation this morning.
There is good in this world and sometimes you have to look really hard to find it, but it’s there.
Things have been way busy here. I’ve had a boatload of things to say but not a lotta time to throw up the words. First off, I got myself an amazing new job as a designer/creative for a small studio on the east side of Cleveland. It is absolutely fantastic and what is housed within the company’s walls is pretty amazing. Beautiful, high ceiling spaces and I have a 25″ monitor as a supplement to my 27″. There is a couch area where we all gather and discuss the complexities of logo design. My weirdness is embraced and I am encouraged to go over the top, as I am apt to do. This is, hands down, the best job of my entire career, and what I’ve been dying for all this time. There was a moment there where I thought I was just completely burnt out on the design thing, but in retrospect, this burnt-outedness really didn’t have anything to do with my chosen profession. I know now that part of it was due to just not having the right job. The rest of this burnt-outedness is due to a wad of complexities that I am slowly now unraveling.
So, if you recall, my last post was fueled by exhausted rage. In the last 3 months, I gave myself a lot of attention to figure out just WTF is going on. Extensive medical appointments proved everything was functioning normally, so I was thankful for that.
This is a post that I have needed to make for a while. It’s about high time I wrote it, because the level of rage I have is immense. So, if you’ll excuse me, I need to rage like a motherfucker.
Advance warning: I AM GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT MY UTERUS.
So if you are acclimated to the Fitness World and are on the internet, you’ve more than likely come across images like these. Images of fitness models with Random Inspirational Quote #45024214 where the intention is to get you to PUT DOWN THE CHEESECAKE, FOR FUCKS SAKE SO YOU CAN GET SOME AB DEF ALREADY.
And while I will recognize that these kind of images are inspirational for some, and just maybe they DO just give you a little pause before you devour that cheesecake. But, I also think that these kinds of images fabricate a fantasy world in which we all head to the gym with shorty shorts on and perfectly sculpted calves and hit the treadmill and watch our abs glisten with sweat. And, just maybe, there are people out there who will not do anything to better their health because they think the gyms are full of the type of people pictured above.
It’s a fantasy. It’s a fantasy that I think wrongly distracts us from the reality of ourselves and prevents us from truly appreciating the reality of ourselves. Turning a blind eye to all the awesomesauce we currently have in ourselves. You are still worthy even if you’re carrying an extra 10/20/30/50 pounds, or if you jiggle when you deadlift, or look like an Italian sausage if you put on shorty shorts.
I am that last one, btw. Pass the onions and peppers.
This is what I want: I want to create a gallery full of *~inspirational images~* full of us regular folks. I definitely do not look *~hot~* (I love doing *~this~* to words. Its so *~MySpace~*) when I head to the gym. When I leave, I’m sweaty, full of chalk, and my hair is sticking up. I could possibly also be stinky. I want to create a resource of wonderful, truthful photos picturing people of all shapes and sizes celebrating their own selves and bettering their health. You never know – that person sitting on the bench next to you could very well be battling some inner demons that are telling her (or him) that they are not good enough because the fantasy lady (or dude) in the photo keeps telling them they’re Not Quite Right.
This is what I’d love for you to do:
Take a picture of yourself at your gym. Or outside, whatever. Doing what you do – whether its lifting, or running, or walking, or Crossfit, or Hungarian Toe Sloth Hot Yoga. The pose is up to you, but full body is preferred. There is no hiding here, there is no shame. Flaunt what you got.
Include your own *~inspirational quote~* if you so choose. It could be deep. It could be real. It could be something you’ve learned on your own journey on this here Earth. It could be some thing like “I pee when I OHP”. Whatever.
Put that quote on your image with your photo editor of choice. Here is one available online. You could feasibly get all blingee on me, but I do not want you to block your body. If you really want a quote on your photo and have trouble doing so – send it to me with the quote and I will do it for you. Trust me, I’m a designer.
Credit where credit is due. Tell me who you are and where you’re from.
Pack that shizz up and send it to me in an email. I will collect them all and start our own regular peeps *~inspirational gallery~* that we can consult often when we come across the feeling of Not Good Enough. Because that Not Good Enough feeling is crap, no matter who or what you are.
Both Dudes and Chicks apply here, btw. Oh, and you really buff people? You bring it on, too. I will honor all body fat percentages.
Spread the word. Share this post wherever you can. I want many images of all kinds of people. I think this could turn into an amazing project full of things that we really need – most importantly, appreciation for ourselves.
Fantasy is great sometimes. It can help with creativity and expand your horizons. But to stay submerged in a fantasy world 24/7 can lead to a deteriorated appreciation for what you have right now. That is what is truly important.
I look forward to your photos.
- hold myself accountable for my actions and my words.
- find something i am good at.
- discover my calling.
- make adventures.
- cultivate friendship.
- find peace.
May 2013 allow you to look back and be amazed at how far you’ve come.
Given to me, by my son.
He picked this out himself. That is a print of a cat with batwings with bonus spider and creepy dude in back.
The awesomeness of this defies any kind of words I can put to it.
To all of you and yours: have a fantastic holiday season.
Boog’s really into minecraft. As in whoa-hold-up-lets-check-the-kitchen-for-boiled-bunnies into it. This obsession leads to many a lengthy discussion with him on the appropriate amount of said game. I am sympathetic, being an formerly obsessive gamer myself. I also understand that a healthy balance must be maintained.
Such a discussion surfaced this past evening, as Boog threw a royal shitfit when I told him it was beddytime. He wanted One More Video, and One More always leads itself to Five. Or 3 hours worth. Gotta cut em off somewhere.
During the conversation, he kept asking me what time I was going to bed. Over and over again. I found that to be odd as this wasn’t something he is typically obsessed with. Well, now I know why. At the apex of his shitfit, he told me that sometimes he waits for our bedroom light to go off, and he thinks he wants to sneak his laptop out and play some more minecraft. He *doesn’t* do it, but he thinks about it, and he wanted me to know.
My kid just totally ratted himself out.
There is not one malicious bone in this child’s body.
We have an inordinate amount of boxes filled with Christmas tree ornaments, as I am sure many of you do. We have a handful of ones that have special meaning to us, of course – either ones that have been handed down to us through the generations, or ones commemorating special events. But the rest is just crap – meaningless filler purchased over the years to fill up space.
I don’t like crap too much.
So we decided to make our tree a bit more meaningful and uniquely us. In case you missed the memo, we’re very much outdoorsy people. Most, if not all, of our vacations are spent in tents. This is us. D and I took a lovely hike through the pine forest a few weeks ago and collected pinecones and acorns to serve as the base of our decorations. We then spent an evening with Boog coating them in glitter and paint. Shut up, glitter totally occurs in nature.