Things have been way busy here. I’ve had a boatload of things to say but not a lotta time to throw up the words. First off, I got myself an amazing new job as a designer/creative for a small studio on the east side of Cleveland. It is absolutely fantastic and what is housed within the company’s walls is pretty amazing. Beautiful, high ceiling spaces and I have a 25″ monitor as a supplement to my 27″. There is a couch area where we all gather and discuss the complexities of logo design. My weirdness is embraced and I am encouraged to go over the top, as I am apt to do. This is, hands down, the best job of my entire career, and what I’ve been dying for all this time. There was a moment there where I thought I was just completely burnt out on the design thing, but in retrospect, this burnt-outedness really didn’t have anything to do with my chosen profession. I know now that part of it was due to just not having the right job. The rest of this burnt-outedness is due to a wad of complexities that I am slowly now unraveling.
So, if you recall, my last post was fueled by exhausted rage. In the last 3 months, I gave myself a lot of attention to figure out just WTF is going on. Extensive medical appointments proved everything was functioning normally, so I was thankful for that.
What bugs me about things like this is how easily we’re inclined to run to the doctor so that we can get pills and be “fixed”. These pills certainly can fix your symptoms, but there could really be a chance that what you’re doing to your body is causing these symptoms. I am by no means shunning doctors or the medical industry at all. They help us live better, healthier, and stronger, and can certainly save your life. But I think we’ve come completely desensitized to how the way we eat and move affect us.
So you go to the doc with these symptoms. The doc gives you a pill to fix these symptoms. Meanwhile, you could still well be creating the environment that is causing your body to express these symptoms. So now you’re compounding the problem by not allowing your body to deal with the stress you’re putting it under.
Let’s look at a crying baby. When a baby cries, you don’t just try to get it to stop crying, you figure out *what it needs* so that it will stop crying. The same can be said about your own body.
This happens to a lot of people. I see people sit on the couch all day downing nothing but potato chips and wondering why they feel like shit and are tired all the time and just chalk it up to “getting old”. I see low carbers spending hundreds upon hundreds of dollars with endocrinologists in desperate attempts to get one of these doctors to please, please get them on thyroid medicine, meanwhile they won’t touch a sweet potato. I see vegans with thinning hair and reproductive issues wondering why all their doctor visits have not helped them. I see chronic calorie restrictors and undereaters wondering why they’re so cold and tired all the time.
Know that I have all the love, compassion, and understanding for the lot of you. Because I know how it is.
In my case, it was Severe Healthy Eating. My symptoms included:
- irregular periods
- horrible, cystic acne
- severe exhaustion. all. the time. no matter how much sleep i got.
- the inability to lose weight easily
- horrible, horrible panic attacks. like, shit i have never, ever experienced in my entire life.
- not wanting to exercise. that ain’t me, y’all.
- horribly low body temperature
Healthy Eating did me in. Which is kind of ironic because you can sit there and say “wtf is my problem? I eat healthy!” and really, my friends, it could very well be that you’re eating *too* healthy. I was.
3 months ago I said “fuck it”, and let me tell you how difficult it was to do, because there’s a lot of cognitive dissonance when considering a donut saving your life. I do admit that I probably went a little apeshit in the first few weeks. Cold pizza for breakfast. Ice cream for dinner. Sugar back in my coffee. But that steadily settled down into a more diverse and regular diet.
I’ll tell you what, though – I did not gain a pound doing it.
- ENERGY. holy hell, I can now get up in the morning and not want to crawl back into my bed and die 20 minutes after waking.
- The cystic acne is slowly disappearing.
- normal body temperature.
- regular, steady mood.
- WANTING to go outside and play. I’ve been *forcing* myself to work out for the past TWO YEARS.
And my cycles? Behold:
Only 3 months in, mind you, but they’re now steady and predictable. Right on time. Severe PMS is gone, too.
And again, guys – if you come away from this thinking that I am justifying you to sit on your ass all day and eat cheesecake, you’re wrong, you’re fucking wrong. But I do implore you to take a good, honest and open look at yourself, your life, and how your treating your body first and foremost, because what you’re doing to it could very well be destroying it, even in the name of “health”.
Maybe you need to get your ass off the couch and eat more spinach. Conversely, maybe you need to stop eating so much fucking spinach and enjoy some god damn cold pizza for breakfast. In fact, do both. Eat your spinach, enjoy the occasional cold pizza, and get your ass moving.
Last month, I PRed on my deadlifts with a whopping *315*lbs. I’d like to thank my awesome muscles and that glazed donut with shamrock sprinkles for my success.